While similar to, and in many ways informed by, other Neurodiversity-affirming practices, Autistic-Centered Therapy is unique to Autistic experiences. AuCT creates a space for Autistics in the therapy world to define, explore, and celebrate the varied and beautiful ways we experience Autistic identity and culture and is defined by that collaborative practice…
kiND therapy + wellness was created to address systemic oppression and provide a space for acceptance and healing. kiND acknowledges the intersectionality of systemic violence against oppressed people and recognizes this is especially urgent for Black lives. Time is far overdue for allies like kiND to rise up against this and so many other injustices that impact Black communities.
I stand in solidarity with Black communities. I actively commit to allyship as ongoing actions of both listening + learning and challenging + changing. I actively commit to examine and remedy my own complicity in white supremacy by holding myself accountable and challenging myself to do better. In recognizing my own privilege and responsibility, I strive to amplify the voices of Black individuals and communities, speak out against systemic racism, and offer resources to support safety, equity, and healing. I see the pain of 400+ years of violence and oppression, and, in doing so, acknowledge that this revolution is not momentary, but active and ongoing by definition and necessity. I pledge to do my part both as a person and as a practice and to help others do the same.
kiND plans to do the following:
contribute financially to incentives that specifically support the equity + wellbeing of Black communities
work together with local advocacy organizations to support their mission
amplify the voices of Black individuals, advocates, and communities
write, call, and petition local leaders to demand structural change
share resources with the community to fulfill needs, promote knowledge, and speak out against racial injustice
examine race in the therapy space by engaging in continuing education on cultural competency, providing culturally-competent care while recognizing my evolving position as an informed not-knower, confronting internal bias, and exploring with clients the impact of race on mental health, both in privilege and oppression
recognize and advocate for the intersectional systemic issues which disproportionately affect Black communities, including but not limited to education, healthcare, and income inequality and the oppression of LGBTQIA+ communities, women, children, and, of course, neurodivergent people
continue to listen, learn, grow, and change in alignment with an intersectional anti-oppression mission and an anti-racist agenda
kiND suggests the following resources* to support this needed change:
44 Mental Health Resources for Black People Trying to Survive in This Country
Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Round Up
if you are looking to make a meaningful donation, kiND encourages you to explore the following organizations:
Stream to Donate Black Lives Matter Youtube Playlist (Cost-free— Only costs a click + time!)
The Boris Lawrence Henson Foundation COVID-19 Free Virtual Therapy Campaign
Bail Funds/Legal Help by City -- Both a resource and charitable organization master list
*The above resource lists are far from exhaustive. kiND also regularly shares resources and information via social media. Currently, kiND primarily engages with social media via the Facebook platform. Future updates and changes to platform use will be noted on the kiND therapy + wellness website. Click here for additional information available on the kiND therapy + wellness Facebook page.
From the medieval question of reason vs. revelation, to Descartes’ mind vs. body dilemma, to the contemporary nature vs. nurture, the false dichotomy has plagued human thought since human thought began—or, at least, since we started putting it in print.
More recently, the nature vs. nurture debate can be found through an abundance of parenting books and what seems like everybody’s opinion in the information age. Whereas parents used to get an earful from their friends, neighbors, and in-laws, the ways and means of parenting are now available in an earful of podcasts, an eyeful of blogs, and the judgement of social media (just to name a few).
As a result, we are inundated with tips on how to stimulate with science, cry it out or cosleep, or feed like the French. Or, if you’d prefer, just drop $100 and a cheek swab for the privilege of consulting your DNA to learn of your child’s luck of the draw from the genetic gifts bestowed by your ancestors.
(Deep breath.)
(Exhale.)
It’s exhausting.
Unfortunately, the dilemma of nature vs. nurture isn’t exactly an “either/or” so much as it’s a “yes, and.” No wonder there’s so much information out there! It’s as if we can no longer just pick a side; now, we need to do so with sources. Jennifer Senior, a writer for the New York Times and New York Magazine, chronicles this recent dilemma in her book All Joy and No Fun. In it, Senior validates the struggles of modern parenting by acknowledging that not only are we on a quest for ultimate happy parenting, but the quest itself can be quite...well...unhappy.
In response to this issue, the organization Zero to Three conducted a 2015 study to find out exactly what parents are doing with all this information. Together with the Bezos Foundation, Zero to Three looked at 2,200 Chicago and Dallas parents and published their results in what they called “The National Parent Survey.” In it, the study examined responses (from predominantly Millenials and Gen-Xers) to find how parents of young children understand development during the first five years. Perhaps not surprisingly, they found that parents’ understanding of the importance of the first five years was “both motivating and terrifying to varying degrees” for about 58% of parents studied. In fact, 1 out of every 4 parents interviewed reported they felt “equally motivated and terrified.”
But the fun doesn’t stop there: The Zero to Three study also showed that 90% of mothers and 85% of fathers reported feeling judged about their parenting. Actually, 46% of mothers and 45% of fathers reported feeling judged all (or nearly all) of the time.
No matter one’s approach to parenting, the feeling of judgement is palpable for most American parents. And no wonder: being a parent, for many, is a central feature of one’s identity. According to a 2015 Pew Research Center study, over half of parents (58%) describe being a parent as “extremely important to their identity,” while another third of parents (36%) describe it as “very important.” With this, it’s no surprise the pressure is so strong: parenting is not only about the nurture and care of little ones but also deeply reflective of who we are.
With its profound significance, one might hope the experience of parenting is also fulfilling—and the research shows that it is. According to the same Pew study, about nine out of ten parents report that parenting is rewarding either all or most of the time. Ninety percent of parents also described parenting as enjoyable either all or most of the time.
This richness and depth of parenting shows that the experience is quite complex, the entirety of which can hardly be boiled down to a single method. Despite the mountains of information at our fingertips (and an overabundance of judgement), sometimes, it helps even more to know you are not alone. In fact, you’re far from it!
Parenthood is messy, filled with both challenging missteps and great moments of joy. I can think of no better words in summary than those of D.W. Winnicott, a widely influential pediatrician and psychoanalyst who studied what it means to be a “good enough” parent. In one of his many writings, he stated: “I would rather be the child of a mother who has all the inner conflicts of the human being than be mothered by someone for whom all is easy and smooth, who knows all the answers, and is a stranger to doubt.”
Even when it’s not “easy”—you might be doing it just right!
This post is featured on the kiND therapy + wellness blog — check out our homepage here.
“Sensory processing” is a broad term to describe how our nervous system receives and interprets information from the world around us. You might have even heard the word “sensory” used in reference to a child in your life. But I’ll let you in on a little-known secret: sensory processing is not just for kids— not by a long shot!
As we reach adulthood, our sensory needs may shift or change. Needs we had as children might become more “integrated” over time and with experience, bothering us less and feeling a bit more seamless. Sometimes, we maintain a fairly similar response to sensory information over time, we just learn to avoid problematic sensations or find more “socially acceptable” ways to get the input we need. Other times, new sensory challenges develop or existing ones intensify. Extra stress or demands on our daily functioning can make us notice all things sensory just a bit more.
Take a look at this list and see if you recognize yourself:
Just Peachy Do you “bruise like a peach” or find yourself black-and-blue from bumps in the night— or at least ones you don’t remember? Do you run into door frames or walls? Trip over your own feet? Some folks even compensate for this through their vision. Try it out— can you touch your fingertip to your nose with your eyes closed? You might not just be “clumsy;” these could all be signs of differences in your proprioceptive sense, which helps you know where your body is in space.
Guess How Much I Love You It’s not uncommon for sensory adults to report that parenthood sends them into sensory overload. Feeling “all touched out” from your kids or overwhelmed by the “NOISE!” might indicate tactile (touch) or auditory (sound) sensitivity. Visual clutter or even your child’s colorful classroom can be distracting for folx who need a little more calm in sight to feel centered. Of course, sometimes parenting can be hard…but parenting with sensory sensitivities can be next level!
Mind Your Business For lots of sensory-sensitive people, a “professional wardrobe” is downright oppressive. For some folx, the very idea of restrictive waistbands, itchy tags or seams, or constricting button downs is enough to turn down an otherwise great job. For others, alternative employment where they can wear compression leggings or other body-hugging activewear helps them feel oh-so-cozy and far more “together” than a business suit ever could. So-called “professional” dress codes have been justly criticized for reinforcing some problematic social norms (for a great intersectional take on this, click here). And from a sensory perspective, it’s all that and more— how can one possibly feel good about a job well done if they literally don’t feel good while doing it?
Another Kind of Hangry Lots of folx skip meals in our busy world, but if you find yourself missing your body’s cues to eat, drink, or toilet, this might be a question of interoception. Some don’t even notice it until they stop moving or hyper focusing and realize they haven’t eaten in hours! While it may sound like a Leo DiCaprio movie, “interoception” is the sensory process by which we notice what our body’s telling us. Cues for hunger, sleep, thirst, elimination, and even emotions are all internal states that our interoceptive sense helps us “pick up”...or, in this case, maybe not.
Can’t Stop/Won’t Stop Are you the sort of person who enjoys very active hobbies? Does your favorite kind of “hanging out” literally involve “hanging” from a chin-up bar? Do you need to get that daily run in to take on the day? Are you “always on the go?” You might just be seeking information to your proprioceptive and/or vestibular senses, which support body awareness, movement, and balance.
Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner While the internet is full of images of women laughing alone with salad, there are plenty of women who far prefer the ease of chicken nuggets and fries to the work it takes to chomp some greens. If you find yourself preferring to dig into the kids’ Mac ‘n Cheese or eating a more narrow range of foods, could it be that softer textures or blander tastes are a better fit for your sensitive palate? On the other hand, do you crave foods with a kick and a crunch? Intense textures and flavors (sriracha, anyone?) help “wake up” the mouths of sensory under-responsive eaters. That means, those Hot Cheetos are not only delicious, but they might also help activate your mouth to be more aware of what you’re eating.
Stink, Stank, Stunk Do you find yourself coughing and gagging from the perfume lingering in the elevator or wafting over from a colleague— even getting headaches? Do you notice smells that don’t seem to bother others? You might be a sensitive sniffer! On the other hand, if maybe you’re the one heavily spritzing the scents, you may be under responsive in your sense of smell, even seeking aromatherapy or other yummy fragrances to help you feel good.
Flo-no-mo Are fluorescent lights giving you a headache— literally? Is your motto toward sunglasses “the bigger the better?” Squinting miserably in sunny family photos? You might be sensitive to light. Plenty of photosensitive people don’t even notice the room is dim until someone walks in and shocks their system by flipping the switch.
Click! Do you notice small sounds others don’t hear? Do clicking pens send you over the edge? Do the smallest vibrations and hums (see the fluorescent lights in #8) make your skin crawl? Sounds a lot like auditory sensitivity! (See what I did there?) Auditory sensory processing can show up in lots of ways. Do you frequently find yourself responding “what?” to the things people ask…and then immediately answering the question? Your brain might need a little more time to make sense of what you just heard.
Lollapa-snooze-a Crowded events? Parties? Theme parks? Too noisy, too messy, too busy, too much! Checking out of summer festivals that are too hot and sweaty? Avoiding events because you can’t keep up with conversations amidst the cacophony of voices? Dreading the buzzers and lights of sporting events? ...or, on the other hand, do you absolutely crave these things? Either way, you might just be noticing your sensory processing!
Many neurodivergent folx have differences in the ways their brains process information. Sensory processing is just one more feature of how our brains make sense of the world. There’s nothing wrong with differences in sensory processing— in fact, it’s an incredibly helpful thing to know about yourself! The question is, how does your sensory system impact your life? Do your sensory needs, in combination with your environment, pose challenges for your relationships, daily routines, or mood? Does it keep you from doing things that you love? For many of us, even stress can exacerbate our sensory differences in unexpected ways.
If this post has gotten you thinking, let’s talk! I use a sensory-informed approach to psychotherapy and am passionate about making the world a friendlier place for all kinds of bodies + brains. For this reason, I have specifically prioritized sensory accessibility in my therapy space to ensure there are no fluorescent lights, no loud hand dryers, and no buzzy window air conditioners. I also love coordinating our work with occupational therapists, who are experts in sensory processing!
Want to explore this some more?
Check out www.sensory-processing-disorder.com. You can even bring a completed sensory checklist to your appointment. Another great sensory resource is the book The Out-of-Sync-Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz— or, naturally, her follow up, The Out of Sync Child Grows Up.
Again, sensory processing doesn’t stop at 18— and we all have sensory experiences! What sensory things do you notice about yourself?
This post is featured on the kiND therapy + wellness blog — check out our homepage here.
